20260924-153420
20 of 30 scenes played · 5 revisions ·
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Two people who have known each other a long time are at the edge of a cold lake at dusk. One of them is leaving in the morning. Neither has said so out loud.
the whole script — all 30 scenes, as it finally stood (20 played)
1Mara and Ellis get to the water's edge with his packed duffel still in the car behind them.
2Ellis's car keys are on a flat rock between them, and he has put them there.
3Mara walks out onto the rotting dock where they used to swim, and he follows.
4She finds their initials cut into the dock post, and one set has been scratched over.
5Ellis admits he scratched them out last week, and Mara steps back from him.
6She takes a pocketknife from her coat and cuts her own initials out beside his.
7He takes the knife from her hand and she lets him.
8He throws the knife into the lake.
9She kneels and pulls the small white thing out of the water: a wet train ticket from his jacket, dated tomorrow.
10In the cold boathouse she lights the lantern he left there years ago and lays the drying ticket under it.
11She holds the ticket out to him and he doesn't take it.
12She puts the ticket into the lantern's flame.
13Ellis closes his hand over hers on the ticket and pulls it from the flame, the burning corner crushed in his palm.
14His palm is burned, and she is wrapping it in her scarf.
15They drag the old canoe down off its rack together.
16They push the canoe into the black water past his car standing in the shallows, and she gets in first.
17He stands with one boot in the water, not getting in.
18He gets in, and they paddle out past the end of the dock.
19They land on the small island where they camped as kids.
20Under the stones of an old fire ring she finds the tin they buried there twenty years ago.
21The tin was set on the coals, and the child's promise inside has half burned before she snatches it out.
22Ellis finally says he is leaving, and she sits down on the stones away from him.
23He has built a fire in the old ring and she comes to sit beside it.
24She puts the childhood note into the fire.
25He holds the burned ticket over the fire and puts it back in his pocket.
26They have fallen asleep against each other by the dead fire.
27They wake to find the canoe gone from the island, drifting far out on the lake.
28Ellis takes off his jacket to swim for the canoe, and she holds his bandaged arm and will not let go.
29A fisherman's boat has come for them, and Ellis presses his car keys into her hand before he steps in.
30Mara stands alone on the dock with his keys; his car is still standing in the shallows, and he has gone for the train.
scene 1 · medium
Mara and Ellis get to the water's edge with his packed duffel still in the car behind them.
the picture turned out to be: There are two men standing in front of a car. The car is parked in the water. There is water around the car. There are mountains in the distance behind the water behind the cars.
looked at: m
scene 2 · close
Ellis's car keys are on a flat rock between them, and he has put them there.
the picture turned out to be: A person is standing on a rock. They are wearing brown boots. There is water behind them. There are trees behind the water.
looked at: t
scene 3 · medium
Mara walks out onto the rotting dock where they used to swim, and he follows.
the picture turned out to be: Two people are standing on a pier. The pier is made of wood. The water is calm. There are trees on the other side of the water. The sky above the water is gray.
looked at: s
scene 4 · close
She finds their initials cut into the dock post, and one set has been scratched over.
the picture turned out to be: A wooden post has some writing on it. There is a person's finger sticking out of the top of the post.
looked at: f
revision 1 — after scene 4:
23 kept, 3 rewritten,
ending moved 0.31
from looking at: 1 image ago: f
2 images ago: s
3 images ago: t
4 images ago: m
totals: m x1, t x1, s x1, f x1
scene 30moved 0.31
scene 16moved 0.21
scene 5moved 0.07
scene 5 · medium
Ellis admits he scratched them out last week, and Mara steps back from him.
the picture turned out to be: There are two people standing on a dock. There is a large body of water behind them. There are trees on the other side of the water. The sky above the water is gray.
looked at: p
scene 6 · close
She takes a pocketknife from her coat and cuts her own initials out beside his.
the picture turned out to be: A person is holding a pair of scissors. The scissors are black. The person is wearing a blue jacket. There is a rock under the scissors.
looked at: r
scene 7 · medium
He takes the knife from her hand and she lets him.
the picture turned out to be: There are two people standing in front of a body of water. There are trees in the distance behind the water. The person on the left is wearing a black coat.
looked at: t
scene 8 · close
He throws the knife into the lake.
the picture turned out to be: A person is standing on a wooden dock. The person is wearing a brown jacket and blue jeans. There is a small white object in the water.
looked at: w
revision 2 — after scene 8:
8 kept, 14 rewritten,
ending moved
from looking at: 1 image ago: w
2 images ago: t
3 images ago: r
4 images ago: p
totals: p x1, r x1, t x1, w x1
looked at earlier, not once in this batch: f, m, s
scene 9moved 0.90
scene 10moved 0.82
scene 28moved 0.07
scene 9 · close
She kneels and pulls the small white thing out of the water: a wet train ticket from his jacket, dated tomorrow.
the picture turned out to be: A man and woman are standing inside of a garage. The man is wearing a gray jacket and has a beard. The woman is standing in front of a table that has a lamp on it. The lamp has a yellow light inside of it.
looked at: t
scene 10 · medium
In the cold boathouse she lights the lantern he left there years ago and lays the drying ticket under it.
the picture turned out to be: There are two men standing outside. One of the men is wearing a blue jacket and blue jeans. He is holding the lantern that is on top of a table. The table is black in color. The lantern is gold in color and has a small white piece of paper on it. The other man is standing next to the table wearing a
looked at: b, b
scene 11 · medium
She holds the ticket out to him and he doesn't take it.
the picture turned out to be: A man and a woman are standing in front of a building. The woman is wearing a blue jacket and holding a white card in her hand. The man is standing next to her wearing a brown jacket and blue jeans.
looked at: b
scene 12 · close
She puts the ticket into the lantern's flame.
the picture turned out to be: Two hands are holding a small white packet with black writing on it. There is a gold object in front of the people. The person on the right is wearing a black jacket.
looked at: h, s
revision 3 — after scene 12:
15 kept, 3 rewritten,
ending moved 0.625
from looking at: 1 image ago: h, s
2 images ago: b
3 images ago: b, b
4 images ago: t
totals: b x3, t x1, h x1, s x1
looked at earlier, not once in this batch: f, m, p, r, w
scene 30moved 0.62
scene 13moved 0.61
scene 25moved 0.58
scene 13 · close
Ellis closes his hand over hers on the ticket and pulls it from the flame, the burning corner crushed in his palm.
the picture turned out to be: A man and a woman are standing outside of a building. The man is wearing a brown jacket and holding a piece of food in his hand. The woman has long brown hair and a blue jacket on. The building behind them has lights hanging from the roof.
looked at: p, b
scene 14 · close
His palm is burned, and she is wrapping it in her scarf.
the picture turned out to be: There are two people sitting on a bench. The person on the left is wearing a green coat. The man on the right is holding the hand of the person in front of him. There is blood on his hand. The bench is made of wood. The ground behind the bench is dirt. The people are wearing black coats.
looked at: c
scene 15 · medium
They drag the old canoe down off its rack together.
the picture turned out to be: A man in a brown jacket is standing next to a green boat. There is a woman in a blue jacket standing in front of the boat.
looked at: b, w, b
scene 16 · medium
They push the canoe into the black water past his car standing in the shallows, and she gets in first.
the picture turned out to be: There are two people standing on rocks. There is a small green boat in the water. The boat has a light on top of it. The person on the left is wearing a blue jacket and jeans.
looked at: r, b, p, j
revision 4 — after scene 16:
11 kept, 3 rewritten,
ending moved 0.366
from looking at: 1 image ago: r, b, p, j
2 images ago: b, w, b
3 images ago: c
4 images ago: p, b
totals: b x4, p x2, c x1, w x1, r x1
looked at earlier, not once in this batch: f, h, m, s, t
scene 29moved 0.45
scene 30moved 0.37
scene 28moved 0.26
scene 17 · close
He stands with one boot in the water, not getting in.
the picture turned out to be: A green boat is sitting on the water. There is a person standing in front of the boat wearing black boots. There are two lights on the boat.
looked at: l
scene 18 · medium
He gets in, and they paddle out past the end of the dock.
the picture turned out to be: A man and a woman are sitting in a green boat. The man is wearing a brown shirt and holding a brown oar. The woman is also wearing a blue shirt and black pants. There is a wooden dock behind them.
looked at: w, b, m
scene 19 · medium
They land on the small island where they camped as kids.
the picture turned out to be: There are two people standing on the rocks. There is a green boat in the water. There are trees behind the people.
looked at: t
scene 20 · close
Under the stones of an old fire ring she finds the tin they buried there twenty years ago.
the picture turned out to be: A man is standing outside on a sunny day. He is wearing a long sleeve shirt and pants. The man is holding a metal pan in his hands. There is a pile of black charcoal in front of the man. There are small flames coming out of the metal pan. Part of a body of water can be seen in the background of the
looked at: s
never shown — the story from here when it stopped
21. The tin was set on the coals, and the child's promise inside has half burned before she snatches it out.
22. Ellis finally says he is leaving, and she sits down on the stones away from him.
23. He has built a fire in the old ring and she comes to sit beside it.
24. She puts the childhood note into the fire.
25. He holds the burned ticket over the fire and puts it back in his pocket.
26. They have fallen asleep against each other by the dead fire.
27. They wake to find the canoe gone from the island, drifting far out on the lake.
28. Ellis takes off his jacket to swim for the canoe, and she holds his bandaged arm and will not let go.
29. A fisherman's boat has come for them, and Ellis presses his car keys into her hand before he steps in.
30. Mara stands alone on the dock with his keys; his car is still standing in the shallows, and he has gone for the train.
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